How to Decide Whether to Get Divorced or Stay Married
How to Decide Whether to Get Divorced or Stay Married
6 Steps That Will Help You Decide Whether to Stay Or Go
If you and your partner are struggling in your marriage, it's natural to think about divorce. But ending your marriage is an incredibly difficult decision, and there are a lot of factors involved in making the right choice.
No two situations are ever exactly alike, and there is no “one size fits all” answer when deciding what to do about a troubled marriage. But, there are some important steps everyone should take before making a final decision about whether to stay together or end their marriage.
Step One: Evaluate Your Relationship
First things first. If you're considering divorce, it's time to step back and really examine your marriage. Whether you're struggling with communication, growing apart, or fighting all the time, it's never easy to face the music and examine what went wrong in your relationship.
But here's the thing - taking the time to evaluate your relationship can be one of the best things you'll ever do for yourself and for your future. It's a chance to get honest about your feelings, to examine the patterns and habits that led you to this point, and to learn from your mistakes. So, take a deep breath, and be honest with yourself about what happened in your relationship and what went wrong to bring you here.
Step Two: Evaluate Yourself
Once you have a basic understanding of what went wrong in your marriage, it's time to look in the mirror and examine yourself. It's important to step back and consider the role YOU played in creating the problems in your relationship. It's a difficult task, but holding yourself accountable can be the key to turning things around. Before blaming your partner or making a final decision about divorce, take a step back and reflect on your own actions and how they've impacted your relationship. Being honest with yourself is not only a mature thing to do, it's also a sign of growth. So, take this opportunity to evaluate yourself and see if there are any positive changes YOU can make to improve your relationship.
Step 3: Evaluate Your Commitment
Now that you understand the role that you've played in creating the problems in your marriage, it's time to evaluate your commitment to fixing them. Let's be honest, marriage is hard. And when things get rocky, it's natural to question the strength of your commitment. But before you make any final decisions about staying together or getting divorced, take a step back and evaluate your level of commitment to your marriage, to your partner, and to CHANGE. Are you truly dedicated to making things work with your partner? And what about your commitment to change yourself for the better? These are tough questions to answer, but they're necessary to decide what steps you need to take next.
Step 4: Reflect on what impact, if any, your children play in making this decision
When it comes to deciding whether to end a marriage, there are many factors to consider. And for parents, our children are often the most important consideration of all. Divorce is never an easy decision, but when you're a parent, it becomes even more complicated. When weighing the impact of a potential divorce, it's essential to think about what role, if any, your children have on the decision you make.
When thinking about the impact of divorce on your children, it's important to remember that there is no single "right" answer for every child and every family. Despite the pressure you might feel to stay together for the kids, staying together isn't necessarily the best choice, especially if staying together means staying in a troubled marriage. So when considering whether to stay together or end a marriage, it's important to consider what impact, if any, your children play in how you feel about this decision.
Step 5: Consider Your Finances
Divorce is a big decision, and it's not just an emotional one. The financial consequences of splitting up can be significant too. It's important to consider the long-term impact on your finances before making a decision. While the anxiety of starting over can be daunting, staying in a marriage that is no longer healthy can be just as damaging.
A professional can help you evaluate your options and plan for the future. Whether you decide to stay married or move forward with a divorce, it's important to make informed decisions about the financial implications of each choice. While finances are an important factor to consider in this decision, money isn't the only measure of happiness. Remember, there's also value in investing in your own health and well-being.
Step 6: Give Yourself Permission to Take Your Time
Don't give in to the urgency to make a decision! Take time to reflect and consider your options.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you regretted a decision you made? We've all been there, and it's not a great feeling. That's why it's so important to take your time and reflect before making any big decisions, especially when it comes to relationships. As tempting as it may be to rush into things, taking the time to reflect on your feelings and thoughts is crucial to making the best decision for yourself and the relationship.
Still Feeling Stuck? Consider Discernment Counseling.
If you're struggling with the decision to stay married or get divorced, discernment counseling may just be the lifeline you need. This unique form of therapy is specifically designed to help couples who are on the brink of divorce or separation. Discernment counseling helps couples struggling with the decision to stay together or separate find clarity and confidence in whatever decision they make. It’s a short-term therapy (1-5 sessions) designed to help you judge your marital options and focus on the best next steps for your family.
Making the decision to stay married or get divorced is hard. But, you don't have to do this on your own. Don't let fear and anger cloud your decision-making process. Schedule an appointment to explore Discernment Counseling today.
