7 Tips for Staying Connected After Having Kids
For many couples, having children is an amazing, life-changing experience. But, it can also put a huge strain on your relationship. Suddenly, it seems like all your time is spent taking care of and managing your kids’ needs—leading to less time and energy for yourself, each other, and your connection. The good news is that with thoughtful planning and effort, you can foster a lasting, deep, connection with your partner, despite your busy schedule.
Here are seven tips that will help foster closeness between you two while allowing both of you to feel supported and content in life as parents.
Prioritize Your Friendship
Having children can change your life in more ways than you ever thought possible. From the moment they arrive, everything you do revolves around them. However, amidst all the diaper changes, sleepless nights, and playdates, it's crucial to prioritize your relationship and (most importantly) your friendship.
Friendship is the foundation of any strong marriage. Your partner isn't just your co-parent. They're also your closest confidant on this crazy parenting journey. So, even if you are busy with your little one, make an effort to stay connected . . . as friends. Plan a movie night, connect over coffee in the morning, and make time to laugh together. It's these small moments that will keep your friendship alive and thriving, even after having kids.
Schedule Time For Fun
Life can get busy, and it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routine, especially when you have kids. But it's important to find time to have fun together as a couple and as a family. Whether it's going for a walk, playing a board game, or trying out that new food truck, taking the time to do something enjoyable can help bring everyone closer together. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive, just something you and your partner can enjoy . . . without or without the kids.
So make sure to schedule time for fun and create memories with those you care about most.
Take A Break From The Kids
As a parent, it's easy to get caught up . . . and quite frankly overwhelmed . . . in the daily tasks of raising children. However, it's important to remember to take a break every now and then and focus on yourself and your relationship with your partner. Try planning a monthly night out - just the two of you. Hire a babysitter, plan a playdate for your children, reach out to family or friends to watch the kids, or consider a "parent’s night out" program KIDS NIGHT OUT | Evergreen Park and Recreation, CO. Use the time to reconnect with your partner and enjoy some much-needed adult time.
Taking a break from parenting can help ensure you're refreshed and ready to handle whatever challenges come your way.
Flirt
You’re tired. And you might not feel like flirting with your spouse after a long day of juggling work and kids. But making an effort to engage your spouse in play . . . flirting, joking, touching, teasing . . . is the secret to keeping the spark alive.
Flirting with your spouse is a great way to stay connected after having kids. Remember what it was like when you first started dating? Recapture some of that energy when you’re with your spouse.
Making an effort to flirt with your partner shows that you still find them attractive and desire their attention. Flirting can range from playful banter and compliments to small gestures like holding hands or leaving love notes. These small gestures remind your spouse that they are still a priority in your life and strengthen your bond.
Practice Healthy Communication
Every relationship requires effective communication. But good communication is particularly important in your marriage. However, more often than not, we tend to fall into the trap of fighting instead of communicating . . . especially when we're tired, stressed, and overwhelmed.
The key to breaking this vicious cycle is to practice healthy communication. It involves active listening, empathy, respect, and clarity. When we stop fighting and start communicating, we create a safe space for dialogue and mutual understanding. Healthy communication not only resolves conflicts but also strengthens the bond between individuals.
Share The Load
Parenting is a rewarding experience, but it is also very challenging. Raising a child requires a lot of time, effort, and mental and emotional energy. However, the mental load of parenting often falls disproportionately on one parent, usually the mother. This imbalance can lead to stress, exhaustion, and feelings of resentment.
It's essential for both parents to share the load of parenting, even if one parent decides to stay at home with the kids. And remember, parenting is more than child care, laundry, and extra chores. It also includes invisible tasks like planning and organizing everything from doctor's appointments to school lunches, as well as emotional support and decision-making. By working together as a team, parents can create a more balanced and harmonious home life for themselves and their children.
Spend Time Apart
Taking time for yourself to recharge is important, but equally important is making time for your spouse to do the same. Sometimes, spending time apart can actually bring you closer together. It allows you to pursue individual passions and interests, reflect on your own thoughts and emotions, and come back to your relationship with a renewed sense of energy, purpose, and appreciation.
When you prioritize self-care and give your partner the space to do the same, you'll both feel more fulfilled and centered in your relationship. It's all about finding that balance between independence and togetherness, and recognizing that both are essential for a healthy and happy partnership.
Making the effort to prioritize your marriage during parenthood can pay off with a healthier and stronger relationship. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, but just like your kids, your marriage needs attention too. Try these tips to strengthen your marriage and keep your connection strong, even after you have kids.
